Cradles and Cables
We are a clever lot when it comes to helping our kids settle into bed at night. Apparently, the story of how Jack broke his head fetching a pail of water, with Jill falling down the well after him, or the charming bubonic plague ditty “Ring Around the Rosie,” is supposed to calm small children. The veiled threat about abandoning an infant in a tree on a windy night always made my kids hush up. “Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop; when the wind blows, the cradle will…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on January 14, 2018 at 8:18pm — No Comments
Only the crunch of gravel mars the predawn quiet as a truck, headlights off, rolls to a stop. Working quickly, professional bandits round up your unsuspecting timber. As your herd of prized trees is prodded toward the tailgate ramp, their soft mewling is barely audible amidst all the rustling…
While it does at times parallel cattle rustling, with skilled thieves whisking away a few exceptionally valuable trees in an early-morning or weekend raid, timber theft…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on January 8, 2018 at 1:38pm — No Comments
Added by Paul J Hetzler on January 5, 2018 at 2:35pm — No Comments
Added by Paul J Hetzler on January 3, 2018 at 7:59pm — No Comments
All of us are using more heating fuel this season than in recent winters, and there is still plenty of cold weather to come. It’s bad enough that our wallets are thinner, but those who heat with wood have the additional burden of more time spent lugging in fuel. And to add insult to injury, uninvited guests occasionally show up with the wood.
Firewood, I’ve been told, comes from “trees” which seem to be covered in “bark,” under which insects can hide. As the wood we bring inside warms…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on January 2, 2018 at 3:50pm — No Comments
Golden Goose Forestry
What do you call a dairy farmer who spends decades improving the genetics of a herd, then abruptly sells all the best animals to start a new herd from scraggly, unproven stock? Crazy, perhaps, or foolish at the very least, right? (Or maybe someone with a gambling debt).
Under normal circumstances, no livestock farmer culls their best animals to start over with random ones. Yet it’s common for a woodlot owner to sell all the large,…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on December 8, 2017 at 8:59am — No Comments
Added by Paul J Hetzler on December 7, 2017 at 7:07am — No Comments
Added by Paul J Hetzler on December 6, 2017 at 7:08am — No Comments
Forget About Reforestation
“Squirrels have been criticized for hiding nuts in various places for future use and then forgetting the places. Well, squirrels do not bother with minor details like that. They have other things…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on November 20, 2017 at 8:29pm — No Comments
Thanks for Giving
Many historians feel the Pilgrims would have all perished during the winter of 1620 if not for food provided by the Wampanoags, on whose land they settled. The following spring, the Wampanoags gave the Pilgrims seeds to plant, as well as a tutorial (possibly an App; we can’t be sure) on the production, storage and preservation of indigenous food crops including corn, beans, and squash.
That fall—no one is sure if it was October or…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on November 20, 2017 at 8:19pm — No Comments
Tree Guys Don’t Know Anything Paul Hetzler
What is an arborist?
1. What a resident of Ann Arbor, Michigan calls herself/ himself.
2. A person who has received extensive training in all aspects of tree care.
3. As opposed to your borist.
Tree topping is:
1. A type of syrup that forest-industry workers prefer on their ice cream.
2. An incorrect way to reduce a tree’s height, one which leads to a very weak and…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on May 23, 2017 at 8:15am — No Comments
Only Bury Your Tree After It’s Dead
In springtime, driving around on weekends makes me sad. Invariably I’ll pass someone out in their yard, shovel in hand, maybe with their kids or spouse, and they have a cute little tree from the garden center on one side of them, and a wicked deep hole in the ground on the other. If I wasn’t so shy, I’d stop and offer my condolences, because clearly they are having a funeral for the tree.
Here’s an arborist joke: What do…Continue
Added by Paul J Hetzler on May 23, 2017 at 8:12am — No Comments
sorry fdor the NNY bias...feel free to use this any time/way you like, and to edit out the offending parochial sentiments.
Helicopters and Handkerchiefs: Signs of Stress
Here is a forecast the entire region can bank on: this spring will be characterized by pollen storms, and in a related development, it will rain helicopters this summer. Don’t panic—it has nothing to do with aircraft. It has everything to do with stress.
Added by Paul J Hetzler on May 18, 2017 at 2:33pm — No Comments